French Twist
by GinnyMyLove
Summary: Sirius almost left in search of Peter, but one little voice stopped him in his tracks. Now he is on the run from Dumbledore and others who want Harry. They flee to France where Sirius has an old friend, who happens to run a high class bordello. LadiesMan!Harry, Harem?, Likely lemons but not for quite a while.
1. Chapter 1

_**Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective**_

_**owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way**_

_**associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.**_

**French Twist:**

**Chapter One: I Disappear **

Sirius felt the wards he had helped cast collapse, like a sucker punch driving the air from his lungs and making it hard to breath as the magic bubble burst inside him. It only took him a few moments to get his bearings and figure out just what it was that had happened before his eyes widened and he apparated straight to Godric's Hollow and found...

He fell to his knees in front of the smoking ruins and wept like a little girl for the first time in his life. His severe upbringing by the Black Matriarch drove most of his "lesser" emotions down deep, leaving him to face the world as a braggart and a scamp with no sign of regret or sorrow. Even the betrayal of his little brother Reg hadn't made him cry. But seeing the home of the only people he'd ever considered his real family...crumbling on one side and smoldering from magical overload left him broken inside.

He wiped his eyes and stood up...heading for the ruined front door...he had to check, just because the house was destroyed didn't mean that James and... He turned away from the body and ran back outside to throw up in the bushes which were somehow unharmed. James' body lay at the bottom of the stairs, the wide open stare told Sirius that it was a Death Curse that finally got him, but the ruined living room and the missing wand arm told him it had been one hell of a battle, though apparently quite short. As Sirius walked back into the living room he found the sofa and the coffee table in pieces but still twitching as James the Transfiguration Prodigy had apparently used every trick in the book to keep the intruder from his family. Sirius felt pride swell within him for the man even as he wept at the loss...in the corner was a broken Antler...further proof that Prongs had not gone down quietly.

Sirius leaned over and closed his best friends eyes, unable to think of anything to say at such a moment besides, "I'm Sorry..."

Standing up he quickly deduced that if James' last stand was at the foot of the stairs, that must be where...where... He closed his eyes and swallowed the pain which was a sob trying to burst from his throat. Upstairs was where Lily and Harry were.

He opened his eyes and took the first step with a determined look, only to find Peter backing out of the hallway toward the stairs. "Wormtail!" Sirius cried. "Peter, are Harry and Lily okay?"

The man turned scared eyes on Sirius and lifted a wand...it wasn't his wand it was white and gnarly...The sorrow Sirius had been feeling up to this point turned to suspicion and betrayal. Bubbling hatred began to overtake his senses. "Why do you have Voldemort's wand Peter?"

"P-Padfoot!" Peter tried to recover from his shock, "I..that is...I mean I..."

Sirius took another step, eyes narrowing at the thin man with the ratlike features even in human form, "Peter how did you get here so fast?"

"I-I was already here!" Peter said scurrying backwards from the stairs and bumping against the wall.

Sirius took two more steps, his voice getting dangerously quiet, "I got here within seconds of the Wards dropping Peter...if you were here why aren't you even scratched? I know you're a coward Peter but even a coward would have fought for their life."

"I-I hid..I hid in the closet here...see?" he said indicating the door beside him.

"Why don't I believe you Pete...something is wrong here and I smell a Rat!" Sirius nearly growled out, shouting the last word.

"Avada Kedavra!" Peter screamed and then apparated away. Sirius dove over the banister onto the ruins of the couch to escape the sickly green light which flashed past him and further blackened the wallpaper at the foot of the stairs.

He stood up quickly and began sniffing the air for any clue where Peter had been or where he was going, changing into Padfoot he bounded up the stairs and began searching the floor and wall where the man had been. His eyesight was red with rage and his ears were ringing from the increase in blood pressure. He reverted to human form and turned to the stairs, if he couldn't track him directly he'd just start a search pattern like they taught them in the Auror Academy. As his foot hit the first step down he wouldn't have thought anything could have stopped him from tracking down the Rat and tearing him limb from limb slowly.

Then he heard one word, "Pafu?"

Turning slowly...unwilling to believe his ears, he found the nursery at the end of the hall...door blown off...and there standing in his crib in the moonlight streaming through the gaping hole in the wall was little Harry reaching out for him with one little hand, grasping and closing in the way that he waved hi. Harry wasn't exactly smiling, but he looked really glad to see someone he knew. "Pafu!"

Sirius nearly lost his footing as he took the first step toward the nursery, his legs didn't want to work properly. He couldn't find his voice for fear he'd start bawling again and he knew that Harry worked like most kids, if you didn't make a big deal out of it they could fall and skin their knee and then get up and keep playing. He forced a smile onto his face and took another step.

"Hey-a Pup." He said quietly, finally entering the room and having to swallow the bile in his throat as he found Lil's staring up at him from the floor.

"Pafu owie," Harry said rubbing his head and frowning, he looked on the edge of tears.

Sirius pushed his hand aside softly, "Owies huh? Let Padfoot take a look-see?"

As he moved the hand away he took a sharp breath at the sight of a jagged and red scar running from just above his eyebrow up into his hairline. He wanted to look closer but Harry was sniffling so he put it off for later seeing as how it wasn't bleeding at the moment. He quickly kissed the boys temple putting a smile on his face. "Better now?"

Harry quieted and Sirius gave a bit more attention to his surroundings. The room was half destroyed, half untouched and the center of the apparent explosion seemed to be Harry's crib. Sirius had no clue what could have done this, but he held up one finger to Harry as he crouched down and closed Lily's eyes and then looked out the hole at the lawn.

There on the ground at the side of the house lay a broken body face up, the body was slowly flaking away into the wind but Sirius knew that face. "Voldemort..." The rage started to well up inside him again, Peter had to have betrayed them to Voldemort, it explained the wand in his hands and his untouched appearance, the broken fidelius. He turned again for the door to chase after the Rat but was stopped again by a little voice. "Pafu, Mumum?"

Sirius face scrunched up and even though he was trying not to cry, tears leaked down his cheeks. He took a quick calming breath and wiped his eyes before turning back to the crib and smiling his most charming smile, getting a huge grin in return from little Harry. "Mummy's gone away Pup, but Padfoot's here. You wanna go for a ride?"

Harry's eyes widened at that and he started jumping up and down in his crib with his arms out. Lily hated that motorcycle and forbid James or Sirius from taking Harry for a ride, but that didn't stop them taking him up for a few laps around the neighborhood from time to time. "Ry! Ry! Pafu Ry!" Harry said excitedly.

Sirius still holding his fake smile, grabbed the diaper bag off the floor and began filling it with everything from the drawers and closet. Nappies, clothes, toys, Luckily it was a charmed bag and took everything easily. He stopped when he was halfway through though...if he took everything they'd know Harry was gone...and that wasn't the best course of action at the moment.

Remembering he was a wizard he waved his wand and haphazardly put back most of what he'd just taken...then to add a touch he turned the chest of drawers over on its side, silently apologizing to Lily wherever she was now. Harry was clapping his hands and turned and began throwing things from his crib across the room, Sirius recognizing the stag, wolf and dog grabbed them and added them to his bag before closing it up and grabbing Harry and his blanket from the crib.

"We'll come back some day Harry I promise. But for now lets go have that Ride eh?"

"Ry! Ry!" Harry chuckled and played with Sirius beard.

He pulled the blanket over Harry's head, and Harry began giggling at the new game. Every musical note of his laughter drove searing hot lances through his heart but he ignored it for now and rushed out of the house and around the back to the Garage where they kept his Bonneville. Harry pulled the blanket off his head and grinned as Sirius strapped him into the sidecar and shrank the helmet to toddler size.

"Ry! Ry! Ry!" Harry shouted as Sirius started the engine, and a genuine smile crossed his face for the first time that night.

"You always did love flying eh Pup?" He said with a grin. As they pulled forward into the back yard.

"Ry Pafu Ry!"

Sirius took off into the night with a grinning Harry, unsure where they were headed or how he was going to explain this to Moony or Dumbledore. But he knew one thing deep inside, he couldn't abandon Harry no matter what happened.

**A/N: Thanks to those who are reading this, I've had it on my hard drive for quite a while not sure what to do with it, but the parts I already have done at least deserved to be published. I've hit roadblocks on several stories but reviews help a whole lot. **

**So I'm posting my two new stories, and then relying on review counts to decide which story to focus on. I know this chapter is somewhat short so I hope you'll give the story a chance.**


	2. Chapter 2

_**Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective**_

_**owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way**_

_**associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.**_

**French Twist:  **

**Escape**

Flying just inside the clouds, with the comforting noise of the engine and the wind in his ears, and Harry in the sidecar fast asleep, Sirius rode on through the night trying to come up with a plan. Harry always fell asleep once on the bike and in the air, it was soothing to both of them apparently.

Sirius came to a stop and killed the engine without cutting the flying charms, about 30 meters above the blinking red light of a water tower. He pulled the mirror out of his breast pocket and held it up in front of him. "Moony."

The mirror went opaque for a moment letting Sirius know it was waiting for a magical connection from the other end. Finally the image cleared and showed Remus' face instead of his own. "Sirius! What is blazes are you doing? Peter is here and he's telling all manner of..."

Sirius cut him off, "Peter is there! Kill that Rat! He sold us out to Voldemort!"

Remus looked confused for a moment before the anger returned, "You listen to me Sirius, we know you were the secret keeper and we know somehow the Fidelius failed. Peter said he showed up to find you standing over the dead bodies of James, Lily and Voldemort and cackling like a madman! He told us he saw Harry explode! What the bloody hell have you done!"

Repressing his first instinct to counter attack, Sirius instead took a deep breath and let it out, "Listen, Peter was the secret keeper," Remus started to make a face so Sirius cut him off, "No! Listen damn it! Peter was the secret keeper, he betrayed us, you can't listen to anything he tells you. I'll talk to you later but you HAVE to keep an eye on Peter, Remus. I promise I'll call you later, would a guilty man do that?"

"He might Padfoot...he might..." Remus face went from anger to sadness in a heartbeat and he choked back tears as he asked his living best friend, "Padfoot...is it true?"

Fighting his own tears he replied, "James and Lily went out with a fight Moony, we should be proud of them for that...and its true..somehow Harry killed Voldemort."

"Do you have Harry?" Remus asked in a torn voice, wanting to know he was okay, and dreading both the answer, and that Sirius the betrayer had Harry in his clutches.

He caught himself before answering, just as his instincts had told him in the Nursery not to let on where Harry was he needed more information before he could tell anyone. "I'll call you later Moony, I promise. Don't take your eyes off the Rat!" With that he pushed the mirror back into his pocket severing the connection and looked down at the sleeping boy.

"What am I going to do Pup?"

~~~==={{{+French+Twist+}}}===~~~

They landed with lights and engine off outside of a modestly run down shack on the cost near Foulness. Sirius picked up a sleeping Harry and his bag before heading inside to regroup and figure out his next step. The inside of the cottage had almost no magic, Sirius had purchased the place under the name of Reggie Noir and kept it as low key as possible in order to use as a non-magical bolthole in the case he needed to lay low from Voldemort and his merry band of zealots. The only magic he'd allowed for was a Flu connection and even that was only a small hole about head height in the wall above the bricked over fireplace.

He spread the blanket out on the sofa and lay Harry down before going to the corner and pulling up a couple of floorboards. Inside he found his stash of an extra wand, a weightless bag containing 50,000 Galleons and a briefcase containing 25,000 pounds and 25,000 in assorted other Muggle currencies including US Dollars and Francs. Quickly putting the bag into the briefcase along with the wand he went to the apparently empty closet and moved a piece of sheet rock to reveal another hole with his suitcase of ready-to-run clothes, mostly Muggle with a few robes for good measure.

He knew he couldn't go back to his apartment until the business with Peter was cleared up and from the sound of things, even Moony was against him at the moment. As if he could ever betray his best friend..his true family that way. That led him back to thoughts of James and Lily staring up at him glassy eyed from the floor and and he was once again nearly overcome with grief. But he forced himself to think of Harry and quickly placed the suitcase beside the briefcase before sitting down in the chair across from the sleeping boy.

He'd promised Moony he'd call and he really needed to see his face even if it was accusing him of doing something so horrible. So he pulled the mirror out once again as he stood up and walked into the bathroom. "Moony."

The mirror was only opaque for a moment before Remus appeared, looking suspicious but less accusatory than before. "Padfoot you had best tell me exactly what is going on, Dumbledore said from the look of things and the magical background noise at the house, that Peters story checks out. There is no trace of..." His voice caught but he quickly righted himself, "...of Harry at the house. It looks like whatever Voldemort did backfired on him. Dumbledore is speculating that Lily may have placed some sort of protection on Harry before she..." A deep breath, "before she died. He's saying this might have been the Power referred to in the Prophecy."

Sirius had nearly forgotten about the Prophecy! "Moony you need to get some of the Order over to the Longbottom's place as fast as possible, they only knew part of the Prophecy and even if they know Voldy's dead they might go after the Longbottoms in retaliation! You know how crazy Bella is!"

The man on the other end of the connection narrowed his eyes but finally nodded, "I'll go myself as soon as Dumbledore reveals the location, he was their Secret..." Anger flashed wolf-gold in Remus' eyes, "their Secret Keeper. Now do you or do you not have Harry?"

The pain showed on Sirius face as well, "Speaking of the Rat, what's going on with Peter, Moony?"

Remus looked confused for a moment at the look on his friends face but his mind wasn't made up either way just yet, "Peter is being questioned by the Aurors but I think everyone is inclined to believe him. They are talking about how the Potters should never have trusted a Black and I'm somewhat on board with that idea."

"Peter was the Secret Keeper Remus! Stop accusing me of being able to kill my best friend!"

Moony began yelling at that, "Why was I told You were the Keeper then Sirius? Why on earth would anyone choose Peter?"

"Because we didn't trust you!" Sirius shouted back at him and quite suddenly felt guilty at the look of betrayal on his friends face. He began again quieter as he remembered Harry sleeping in the other room. "We knew there was a leak in the Order and...and it had been suggested that...that..."

Remus closed his eyes and took a deep breath, trying to hide the betrayal and the sadness but failing, "That a so-called Dark Creature was not to be trusted? Siri I thought we were past that!"

"I know!" He said quietly but with force, "I know and I'm sorry Remus, but you have to see it from our point of view! As for the rest...we figured nobody would suspect Peter, that was the point. And if they came for me, the most obvious choice, there was no way I could reveal anything...it seemed like the perfect idea at the time. It was my idea..." The guilt hit him like a ton of bricks as he admitted it out loud. "It was my fault."

"Sirius get a grip on yourself! If you are truly innocent saying things like that will have you in Azkaban within hours! I don't know what to believe yet but they are looking for you. I think you should turn yourself in, if this is true then you will be exonerated quickly and we can take care of Peter."

"We both know what will happen Moony, I'm a Black, like you said they never should have trusted me! I'll be thrown in Azkaban without a trial or Kissed! I can't come in until things settle down, the situation is too hot right now!"

"Padfoot look, just come in and we'll get it all sorted out I promise...and bring Harry with you?"

"I have to go Remus, I'm sorry. I won't answer if you call but I promise to keep in touch." With that he shoved the mirror back into his pocket, cutting off the magic and the heated words Remus was flinging across the connection.

It sounded like they were getting ready to start a search grid much like he'd been planning for Peter, that meant the UK wasn't safe any longer, if he used any magic soon they'd be watching. He thought for a moment before walking back into the other room and over to the fireplace where he opened the grate over the little hole above the mantel. "Madam Monique's" He called quietly as he tossed a bit of flu powder and watched the flames turn green.

In a moment a painted and pretty face popped into view, "Madam Monique's, st-ce que je peux t'aider?"

"Crap..bloody awful language..." Sirius mumbled to himself trying to remember the translation charm, then casting it silently. "_Good evening, is Monique in the house please?"_

The face smiled back at him, _"Whom may I ask is calling handsome man?"_

Sirius did his best to smile back and wiggled his eyebrows, "_Tell her an old dog is calling, begging for treats."_

"_One moment please."_

Sirius waited impatiently for two minutes before a familiar face appeared in the fire, "Sirius! How is my favorite old dog?"

"Getting older I'm afraid, how are you doing Monique?"

"I am fine, the girls are always busy so it is as they say, 'all good' no?"

Sirius chuckled a bit before he remembered why he was calling, she seemed to notice the look even through the fire. "There is something wrong?"

"Yes, I'm in a bit of a tight spot and feel the need to get out of the country. I need a place to stay but I have some baggage with me that might be a bit of a problem."

The woman smiled, "No Siri, there is absolutely no reason you cannot stay with me. I daresay the girls miss you very much."

"But Monique this is really bad, and the baggage is..."

"No! You will come here right away and I will hear nothing of it. I can expect you tomorrow no?"

He did some quick calculations in his head, "Tomorrow should be fine, I need to travel Muggle I think so it will be slower but I'll see you soon. And Monique?"

"Yes?"

"Thank you."

She winked and killed the connection leaving him alone with his thoughts, his money, and his Godson whom he turned to, finding him still sleeping peacefully on the couch. "Well Harry, looks like we're going to France."


	3. Chapter 3

_**Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective**_

_**owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way**_

_**associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.**_

**French Twist:  **

**3. The Outlaw Torn**

The next day found Harry and Sirius taking the ferry across the English Channel with all their possessions either shrunken in pocket or loaded onto the Bonneville. Harry seemed to be enjoying the trip and seeing the water at first, but as the time dragged on he got bored and Sirius could almost see the questions forming on his little face.

"Mumum. Mumumumum mum?" Harry began babbling.

Sirius' eyes watered, but he once again sucked it up for Harry and smiled as he sat down on his haunches to be at Harry's level, "I'm sorry, mummy went away and you live with me now...I don't know how much you understand me right now but..." He felt his lower lip quivering and had to close his eyes and take another deep breath. "Mummy and Daddy are gone Harry, its just you and me now."

The little boy looked confused for a minute before asking another question. "Da?"

Sirius rolled his eyes and looked away for a second before wiping away a tear that threatened to fall, Harry was picking up on his mood and the last thing Sirius wanted was a tantrum. "No Harry, Daddy and Mummy are gone now, you live with me."

Sirius tried to pull Harry into a hug but something appeared to have connected in the kids mind because he started squirming and trying to pull away. "Da! Da!" He shouted trying to get away, "Mumum!" he hit Sirius shoulder, the next swing accidentally hit him in the face but Sirius just hung on to the boy as he went from anger to tears. "Mumum! Mumum!" Harry cried, causing other passengers to look toward the railing where he was struggling with the boy. Sirius was crying openly now but he still refused to let Harry go. Finally Harry wrapped his arms around Sirius neck and cried long and loud, and Sirius finally allowed himself to grieve as well. He still wasn't sure whether Harry understood or was just beyond frustrated, but he knew he needed this as much as the kid.

One of the watching male passengers came over looking concerned, apparently sent by his wife by the look of it, "I say, Is everything alright here?"

Embarrassed at his show of public emotion Sirius wiped his face quickly and smiled up at the man, he couldn't hide the pain around his eyes though as he spoke softly, "Fine fine, thank you for asking."

"Er...that is to say, my wife won't accept that much, any chance of sharing with a complete stranger?"

Sirius shrugged, "My Godson here just lost both his parents and he's a little to young to understand. Me...well I'm a mess but I have to keep it together for him you know?"

"I'm sorry for your loss, and I apologize for bothering you." The man tipped his hat and turned back to his nosy looking wife.

Sirius stood up pulling Harry with him to lay on his shoulder and walked over to a bench. He sat down with a still sobbing boy, but the sobs were getting quieter and he hoped they would stop or Harry would go to sleep soon. He wasn't sure how much more of this emotional stuff he could take at the moment.

~~~==={{{+French+Twist+}}}===~~~

By the time they had arrived at the dock in Boulogne Harry had pretty much returned to normal, it seemed that nothing could keep a toddler down for long and Sirius only wished he could forget his troubles so quickly. They mounted the Bonnie and headed south for Paris on the main roads for about thirty minutes before Sirius found an empty stretch of side road and engaged the hover charms, quickly climbing to cloud level and dipping below every now and then to get his bearings. What should have been a two or three hour trip was brought to just under an hour and Harry grinned the entire time they were in the air, Sirius was thankful that James had insisted on putting restraints into the sidecar as the kid seemingly would have jumped out more than once.

As he recognized the outskirts of Paris he cut the engine and quickly landed on another side road before pulling onto the main road into Aubervilliers on the north side of the city. Once they were on the ground Harry fell asleep having exhausted himself while flying. The Pup wasn't used to riding in the daylight, most of the time his rides were while Lily was away and the boys couldn't get Harry to settle down to sleep. Riding in the sidecar at night seemed to relax him, however it appeared his love of flying outweighed the calming effect it had on him when there was actually something see besides pretty lights below.

They pulled up in front of a four-story building, squashed between similar buildings that housed flats for rent. This one, however many tenants it contained was a place of business rather than individual homes. It was nondescript and unassuming, one would need to know what they were looking for to recognize it for what it was. Sirius gathered their belongings and put a sleeping Harry on his shoulder and mounted the steps to the front door and rang the bell after remembering to renew the translation charm.

The door opened a crack to show a pretty face, "_Hello sir, how may I help you?"_

Sirius smiled charmingly, "_Hello, would you tell Monique there is a stray at the door?"_

The girl looked somewhat confused but nodded and closed the door. In a matter of minutes the door opened wide and there stood a smiling blond-haired blue-eyed woman in her mid twenties wearing a form fitting silk dress. "Sirius! You did come after all! And...who is this?" She asked noticing the sleeping form on his shoulder.

"This is the baggage I mentioned, may we come inside?"

Looking confused but interested, Monique stood to one side and allowed them to enter before closing and locking the door behind her. She then turned appraising eyes on her visitors, "The top floor I think no?"

Sirius nodded, "No doubt that would probably be best."

She led them up the stairs to the top floor and down to a study at the end of the hall where he gratefully accepted the offered chair in front of her desk. "Now you will tell me what is going on yes? I hear on the Wireless this morning you are wanted for questioning in England!"

Sirius threw his head back and sighed, it looked as though his decision to run had been the right one. "Why don't you tell me what I'm wanted for and I'll tell you the real story?"

She related to him what she had heard, that he was wanted for questioning in the deaths of James and Lily Potter as well as the death of their son. That a reward was being offered for information leading to his whereabouts. "That sounds about right," She gasped at this admission and he held out his free hand to calm her down, "Hold on a minute alright? James and Lily are two of my oldest and dearest friends I could no sooner harm them than cut off my own arm."

"I take it this is the son then?"

He nodded, "This is my Godson, James and Lily's son Harry. The Potters were attacked in their home yesterday and...killed."

She gasped again, "Oh I am sorry Siri!"

"Thank you," he replied softly, "the reason I'm wanted is because everyone in the know thinks that I was their Secret Keeper and thus the only one who could have led the murderer to them."

"I do not understand this 'Secret Keeper'. You mean you are the only one who knew where they were?"

He shook his head, "No, see Lily is a Charms prodigy and she found an old spell called the Fidelius Charm. As far as I know she only shared the information on it with our group, Albus Dumbledore and the Hogwarts Charms Professor, Filius Flitwick. This charm can be used to completely hide an object or location so that it cannot be plotted, seen or even spoken about by anyone but the Secret Keeper."

"And you are this Secret Keeper then?"

"No, we only told people that to hide the true Secret Keepers identity. Our other..." His eyes glazed over for a moment as an evil look crossed his face, "Our so-called-friend Peter Pettigrew was the least likely choice for Secret Keeper because he is somewhat weak both physically and magically. It was my great idea to use him and tell others it was me since I was the obvious choice. That way even if they learned about the charm and came after me I couldn't tell them the information even under torture."

Monique looked skeptical but open to more information, "So this Pettigrew, he revealed the location to their murderer?"

Sirius nodded, "I found him at the house when I found..." he paused to shove the memory down deep, "when I found it in ruins and James and Lily dead. He was carrying Voldemort's," She gasped at the name but he had learned to ignore the reaction, "wand and he was completely unharmed. He's the only one who could have told them where to find the Potters."

"This is the same Voldemort your papers refuse to even speak of no? The madman who is terrorizing the UK?"

"That's him, but we don't have to worry about him anymore. Something Lily did before she died protected Harry, when Voldemort tried to kill the boy there was some sort of magical backlash that blew out the side of the house and killed the Dark Tosser instead. I was going to go after Peter for revenge when Harry stopped me. I don't know what would have happened to him if I hadn't stopped but I can be pretty sure from the current situation I would have been thrown in Azkaban without so much as a by-your-leave."

"This is terrible! Can you not explain to them what happened?"

Another sigh, "Peter is telling them I led Voldemort to the house and that he saw Harry explode or some rot. I'm letting them think Harry is dead until I can figure out how to clear my name. I don't trust the British Government any further than I could throw them and after talking to Remus I'm not sure I trust Albus Dumbledore either."

"So you come to me?"

"I know it's asking a lot, but I just need somewhere to lay low for a while, til things cool off. At worst I have some cash and I can get my own place."

She shook her head at that, "Non, you are welcome to stay here as long as you need, though you will probably stay only on the top floor no?" She said looking at the sleeping child.

"That is a certainty, actually if you don't mind I'd like to put up some nanny-wards on the stairs just in case he goes wandering. We won't be a bother I promise."

"It is no bother Sirius, you were there to help me when I was at my lowest and my own family kicked me from the house. I am only returning the favor, I only wish I had better accommodations to offer you."

"It's fine really, and Monique? You don't know how much this means to me."

~~~==={{{+French+Twist+}}}===~~~

The building really was just a converted apartment building, the top floor remained relatively unchanged from its former vocation. There were two bedroom flats at each corner with all the usual amenities and six singles in the hallway, two of which had been converted into a home and office of sorts for the proprietor.

In each of the smaller rooms lived one or two women ranging in age from 17 to 30 with the larger rooms being unoccupied except for one which belonged to a female doctor who was considered to be 'Staff'. The flat next door to the doc was serendipitously empty, and became theirs for as long as they felt the need to stay.

Sirius had just finished transfiguring the bed in the second bedroom into a crib and laying Harry down, making sure to put his stuffed animals in with him, and had walked back into the main area of the flat when a knock on the door grabbed his attention.

He opened it expecting to find Monique and was instead greeted by a green-eyed brunette in a pantsuit, holding a thermos and a tin of biscuits. "Hello, I take it you are the new neighbor Monique mentioned?"

A confused Sirius glanced back and forth and then once up and down the figure of the woman in front of him, the attire not meshing with the identity, "Yes that's me..."

"May I come in?" She asked with a smile.

He snapped back to attention and stopped ignoring his upbringing, holding the door open for her, "Oh of course, forgive me."

He walked her over to the couch and sat while offering her the chair or the other end of the couch with a sweep of his arm. "So uh, not to be rude, but what brings you by?"

"Do you have any coffee mugs? I know Monique keeps these rooms furnished but I'm not sure if there are dishes in here, there were in mine when I moved in."

Without thinking he got up and went to check the cabinets, finding two mugs he quickly brought them back to the couch and sat down again. "Ah wonderful." She exclaimed as she unscrewed the thermos and poured tea into each vessel. She then opened the tin and turned to offer him her hand, palm down. "Victoria Hensley."

He took the proffered hand, and remembering his manners, lightly kissed the back of it automatically smiling rakishly at her. "Sirius, Sirius Black. A pleasure to meet you."

She took her hand back with an answering smile and took a sip of her tea, "To answer your earlier question, I just arrived from an outing and was informed on the way up the stairs that we had guests. It is always nice to know the people you live with don't you think?"

He nodded dumbly, finding himself more and more struck by her beauty, "You're British?"

She answered in clipped and proper tones that spoke of an upper class upbringing, "Yes, I received my Doctorate at Oxford, I'm only in France because I traveled a bit and when I ran out of funding Paris was where I found myself. I'm currently working Pediatrics at Necker-Enfants Malades when I'm not taking care of the ladies here."

Sirius was confused again, "Your a doctor? Oh! Oh that makes so much more sense now!" He laughed.

"Come again?" She asked, now being the one who was confused.

He realized she really might not find it funny and quickly tried to reign in his humor, "Er, that is to say..."

"You thought for a moment I was one of Monique's ladies?" She asked with an arched eyebrow.

Totally chagrined he simply smiled cutely at her and hoped for forgiveness, "Um...yes?"

She sighed and then began chuckling herself until he nervously began laughing with her, "I suppose it is my fault for not introducing myself before barging in here." She stuck out her hand for a proper handshake, "Doctor Victoria Hensley, at your service."

He grabbed her hand gratefully and replied, "Sirius Black, nice to meet you Doctor. Thank you for the tea it was a lovely gesture."

"Not at all." She said releasing his hand and picking up her mug for another sip. "I do hope you like it straight, it didn't occur to me until I had knocked that you might not have any milk or sugar in here."

He sipped his as well, it was a little more bitter than he liked his but it would do, "No no, its fine. So how did a child doctor end up in a place like this?"

She smiled and took another sip, "I needed a place to stay and Monique needed a part time physician. Of course I was rather shocked when I answered her want ad but all-in-all I get to live here rent free in exchange for performing routine check-ups for the girls and running their blood work to the lab every few months just to make sure they are healthy enough to continue their line of work, as it were. My question for you is, how did you end up here? I hear you have a child with you?"

Sirius sat back and sipped from his own mug, absently holding a biscuit in one hand, "That is a long story, are you sure you'd really like to know?"

"Do tell."

"Well it starts about seven years ago I suppose. I was fifteen and on my own for the Summer Hol's to do as I wished. My family didn't much like me at that point, but this was before they'd completely disowned me."

"Disowned you?" She asked in surprise.

"That's a different story, back to this one however. I was fifteen and in Paris on my own for the first time, so I did what any well-to-do young man would do in my position. I found what looked to be a reputable bordello and screwed my brains out."

She looked slightly disapproving at that but he held up a hand to stall her objection...before realizing it still held a biscuit and setting it on the coffee table. "You have to understand the way I was raised, this was damn near expected of me. Sow some oats and whatnot before coming back and being a good little Heir and learning the family business. In any case, while at this bordello I meet a young girl, only a few years older than me. She was..." He had to think, not knowing whether the Doctor knew about magic or not he decided to skip the part about her being a squib, "sold by her family as unworthy, and made to pay off her 'debt' to the House by selling herself. Now I am not against prostitution in general but slavery or indentured servitude like that really gets to me."

"I'm glad to hear it."

He nodded and continued, "I ended up spending most of my time with her...and I was young and stupid, I guess I thought I'd fallen in love with her. So I got a hold of some family money that was laying around and I paid off her debt, and took her with me."

"Oh? What did you plan to do with your new possession?" She asked him with a raised eyebrow.

"Now now, don't be like that. I already told you I don't hold with slavery. I paid off her debt and took her with me, I don't know, possibly thinking I'd marry her. I wasn't really thinking with my brain at this point, I was all heart and bollix to be honest. So next thing we needed was a place to stay, and I figured it should be permanent so I got hold of more money..."

"Your family seems very wealthy to have this much money simply laying around."

"We were more than well off," He didn't explain that he'd had to transfigure most of the cash he'd used after buying off the debt, "in any case, I bought this place for her. It was rather more run down than it is now, basically age the outside by several years in appearance and then match the insides to the outsides. But I helped her fix the place up and we made a go of it for the next month. Getting furniture and fixing up the insides to be liveable."

Victoria shook her head, "You bought her an entire building? Why not a little cottage? Or a flat above one of the shops downtown?"

"Well the business part of me thought we could fix the place up and rent out the empty flats, plus we were in the neighborhood and saw the sale sign and the price was right."

"So you had your happily ever after?"

"For a time I suppose we did, but in the end my family would have cut me off if I hadn't returned to England to finish my education. So at the end of the Summer we parted, promising to keep in touch and promising I'd come back to her... I'm afraid I didn't keep that promise."

"You are here now." She said, again with the arched eyebrow.

"Well yes, but we've grown too far apart to be lovers again. I don't think I really loved her to begin with, I was just being the hero and she needed rescuing. You know? So we kept in touch and I'd been back the next summer to visit and met the couple of girls she'd rescued on her own. I wasn't sure I approved of her running her own Bordello but she was doing well and the girls loved her. Me too, though I suppose her telling them I was responsible for all of this," he gestured to the walls, "was thanks to me had something to do with it. After that visit though my family disowned me and I moved in with my best friend James. His parents were nowhere near as lenient or liberal as mine were and I wasn't able to come back again. I kept in touch with Monique via Fl..phone and by letter, but we drifted apart."

"That is one very interesting story Mr. Black, but it doesn't explain why you are here now." She said with a smile.

"The short of it is, Harry's parents died yesterday and I needed to get out of the country and him away from that house."

She looked at him sideways again, "So you brought him to a Bordello of all places?"

"I wasn't really thinking so much as I picked a direction and ran, James, yes the same one who took me in after I was disowned, James and Lily were murdered and the same maniacs tried to kill Harry...I just couldn't stay there and I wasn't thinking straight. But it is nice to see how well Monique has done for herself and I must admit, as long as we stay away from the bottom two floors this place is much nicer than any hostel."

Victoria glanced at her watch and her eyes widened a fraction, "I'm terribly sorry but I have an open door policy with the girls that started five minutes ago, they are likely wondering where I am. I just wanted to get acquainted with my new neighbor first." She stood up and made to leave, "You can keep the tea and biscuits, I'll collect the containers later."

Sirius stood as well feeling awkward for some reason, "I really appreciate you stopping by, we'll have to this again some time."

She smiled as she placed her hand on the door knob, "Quite, you are a very interesting character Mr. Black. I should like to get to know you better."

"Sirius please!"

She winked, "Victoria then, and I assure you I'm entirely serious."

As the door closed behind her he groaned, "Oh bother, not another one."

**A/N: Some commented on chapter length, I stop my chapters where they feel natural at the time. Looking back I agree that chapters 1 and 2 might have been better together, but if I'm not careful I tend to write 10k in one chapter and I know that can get annoying. Bare with me, at this point 'French Twist' is leading in reviews, barely beating Incarnation of Death, but it has more chapters so its kindof unfair to compare them. However I promised the one with more reviews would get updated, so here you are.**


	4. Chapter 4

_**Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective**_

_**owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way**_

_**associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.**_

**French Twist: **

**4. Seek and Destroy**

The Longbottom's had not escaped unscathed from the retaliatory attack against them, they had not been placed under Fidelius as Remus assumed but had instead opted to take care of their own security. Frank had paid for his hubris with his sanity, Bellatrix forcing Alice to watch as he and their son Neville were tortured with the Cruciatus Curse. Thankfully the Order (thanks to Sirius' warning) had arrived in time to save the two of them and Frank was currently in the long term spell damage ward at Saint Mungo's. They had taken too long attempting to get help from the Aurors who were overwhelmed with the End-of-the-War celebration.

They had been licking their wounds for a few days now and Remus had been keeping a suspicious eye on Peter. The events as described by Sirius were unbelievable and yet, his mind kept turning them over and over. He simply could not believe his friend could ever commit such an act of betrayal. However with the reality of the fact staring him in the face, it was obvious that someone had betrayed the Potters to Voldemort, and Peter's version of events was entirely too neat for his liking. Peter did not seem the type to rush to the Potter household knowing that the enemy could still be there, while it matched perfectly with Sirius nature. There was also the fact that every time he tried to make eye contact with the man he turned away.

Finally Remus could stand no more of the suspicion and waited for the opportunity to get Peter alone. He found him in the kitchen searching through the cupboard for something to eat. "Peter."

The man froze at his name and slowly turned around, fear shining from his eyes for a moment before pasting his most genial smile onto his rat-like face. "What can I do for you Remus?"

Remus' eyes narrowed a fraction at his reaction to something as simple as hearing his own name, "I think we need to talk Peter. I spoke with Sirius."

The rats eyes widened at that but he immediately tried to deflect the conversation, "You've spoken with that traitor? What are you doing talking to him? How are you talking with him?"

Remus took a step forward and watched as the hackles seemed to rise in the smaller man, "You know very well that we have enchanted mirrors, you have one yourself. He's been telling me some very odd stories you know."

"S-Stories?" Peter said with a gulp, "I..you know he would tell you anything to get you to believe him!"

"Indeed, but there are things that just don't seem to mesh with your own story and I find myself wondering, 'Why does Peter act like he's afraid someone will find out he has a deep dark secret?' Then I tell myself I must be imagining things and I come to confess my transgressions to you, only to have you confirm my suspicion. Tell me Pete, tell me again what happened that night?"

Remus took another step forward and Peter edged backward until he was caught in the corner, suddenly looking at the walls that were betraying him and looking for all the world like the caged rat that was his namesake. "M-m-moony! My friend! I don't underst-st-stand where this is coming from!"

"Just tell me, Peter, tell me how you knew the house had been attacked?"

"I.." he licked his lips nervously, "I've told you before, I was already there..."

Remus nodded, "Ah yes, and what were you doing at James' house at two in the morning?"

"Was it so late? I..we...that is we...were discussing the...uh...the wards! Yes we were discussing the wards and how to improve them!" His hand, unseen, was on the counter was searching for a weapon of some sort, finally landing on the flour container.

"That is really interesting Wormtail, seeing as how you nearly failed charms because you couldn't quite grasp Warding." he took another step toward the man, now nearly convinced of his suspicions. "And what happened next? How was it James was downstairs and you were upstairs...what was it? Hiding in the closet?"

Rather than an answer, Remus was hit in the head with the ceramic jar which shattered, flour exploded into the air obscuring the room and he felt the smaller man push him as he ran past. Remus would have reached out to grab him but he was too busy holding the gushing head wound to do much besides turn to watch the kitchen door open and the blur run outside.

Ignoring the pain and the blood he rushed out the door after the rat, thankful for the anti-apparation wards which extended over the building and for several meters in either direction. It was an empty restaurant the Order has appropriated as a base with an alleyway leading out onto a busy Muggle street. He chased the slower man down the alley praying he would reach him before he got to the edge of the wards. "WORMTAIL! Get back here you RAT!"

The man's wand came up and Remus rolled under a sickly looking yellow spell before springing back to his feet. The wolf in him was howling for blood and for once, Remus was all too inclined to let the wolf run. He quickly cast a Diffindo hoping to catch the rat in his leg and stop him but missed high thanks to his vision being obscured by the blood running down his face. The right sleeve of Peters shirt was ripped and covered his wand and the man began tugging at the offending clothing even as he ran. His suspicion was finally confirmed as Remus caught sight of the Dark Mark. "How could you Peter!" He shouted.

Peter gave up trying to remove he cloth and tried to cast another spell only for it to fizzle because he couldn't perform the proper wand work. Instead he kept running right past the edge of the wards and out into the street, cars were flying by honking their horns and Peter looked scared for his life with every one that past. His eyes were wide and nearly rolling in their sockets and he was foaming at the mouth after running as hard as he could. He turned to look at Remus who was standing with his wand at his side, wary of the Statute of Secrecy. "Me? ME? How could I have betrayed them? HOW COULD YOU BETRAY THEM! YOU AND SIRIUS BOTH!"

"What are you going on about traitor!" Remus shouted over the traffic, both men had attracted more than a few onlookers and traffic was slowing to a stop as the man refused to leave the middle of the street.

Peter laughed maniacally and pulled the sleeve off of his wand hand, pointing it at Remus. "YOU AND SIRIUS BETRAYED JAMES AND LILY! NOW YOU WANT TO KILL ME!"

"What?" Remus asked even as he saw the wand begin to move, recognizing the movement, "Peter NO!"

The wand came down as Peter shouted the incantation and the street erupted in an explosion, Remus had to turn away as a fireball came from the hole in the ground apparently having his a gas main. People and cars were flung in every direction from the blast radius and as Remus stood up he found several people looking his direction, holding what appeared to be some sort of weapon, and then several red-robed figured popped into being near by the blast site. His better sense took over. "Oh bugger me..." he said just before apparating away.

~~~==={{{+French+Twist+}}}===~~~

He'd tried to raise Sirius on the mirror twice now without a response, damn him for being so stubborn and, to be honest, intelligently cautious. He'd been running on foot, hiding out in coffee shops and bars, not daring to go home for fear they would be waiting for him in ambush. He'd obscured his face and gone to Diagon Alley last to find news and was unhappy but unsurprised to find his face on the front page of a special edition of the Daily Prophet next to Sirius' with the headline: "Two wanted for the murder of Potter Family."

Not knowing where else to go, and taking a leap of faith that he knew Sirius as well as he thought he did, he'd boarded a ferry for France not having the range to apparate and not wanting to chance being tracked via magical travel anyway. It had taken nearly all the money he had on his person not including the knuts and sickles in his pocket. He was halfway across the channel when his pocket warmed and he quickly looked around for a place to answer it. Finding the Head he closed the door and pulled the mirror out, "Answer".

"What do you think you're doing trying to call me over and over, I told you I'd call you when I was ready!"

"Sirius."

"Honestly, you think I'm stupid enough to let Dumbledore take your mirror and trace the connection somehow? I don't know that it could be done but if anyone could do it then it's probably him..."

"PADFOOT shut up!"

"Geez, whats got your knickers in a twist?"

"I'm in trouble Padfoot, you were right about the rat."

Sirius perked up at that, "I was? I mean I know I'm right about him, but what do you mean? Is my name clear now? Can I come back?"

Remus shook his head, "No... I waited til we were alone to confront him, in case I was wrong. But I backed him into a corner...quite literally."

The man in the mirror winced, "Bad idea, you should know better than to corner your prey like that, that's when they get dangerous."

"Yeah he hit me with a ceramic and got out while I was still reeling, I caught him with a cutting curse but it only shredded his sleeve. He has the Dark Mark Sirius! How could we not have known?"

"I don't know Moony...I don't know what to think anymore. But you saw his Dark Mark? So you can just tell Dumbledore and..."

"I'm wanted for his murder Sirius."

"Wait? You killed him? Not that I blame you but why'd you go and do that? It makes it that much harder for me to prove that..."

"NO! Damn you would you just shut up and listen for a second?" Sirius shut up and looked attentive and Remus felt momentarily guilty for shouting, "I chased him onto a Muggle street where he shouted about how both you and I betrayed the Potters and then he blew himself up taking half the street with him. The only witnesses were Muggles and when the Aurors showed up I knew I was screwed. As you so nicely pointed out the other day I'm a dark creature, they don't even have to give me a trial!"

"Bugger..." Sirius said quietly.

"That sums it up nicely, yes."

Sirius thought for a moment before deciding something, "Where are you?"

"On a ferry headed for France."

He quirked an eyebrow at that, "France? Really? What made you decide to head for France?"

Remus smiled, "I had to guess which direction you went."

Sirius sighed and nodded, "You guessed right, which port are you headed to?"

"Boulogne was the first available."

"What luck! You wait at the docks when you get here and I'll pick you up. It's damned poor circumstances but I'm really glad to have you back on my side Moony."

~~~==={{{+French+Twist+}}}===~~~

Remus walked off the gangway with the rest of the crowd trying to remain as inconspicuous as possible. So it was with great surprise and no small amount of fear the he found himself being summoned violently into a janitors closet on the outside of a souvenir shop, and the door slamming behind him. He was struggling to find his wand at the same time he was attempting to untangle himself from several mops and a mop bucket in which he had somehow lodged a foot. Whoever it was that had captured him must have seen his search for his wand because next he knew his arms snapped to his sides and he found himself immobilized. He was still in a full panic right up until he heard the snickering and snapped his eyes toward the corner of the small room where he found Sirius doubled over and trying to laugh as silently as possible. There were tears running down his cheeks and he appeared to be having trouble breathing even as he waved his wand to right the mops and reversed the body bind.

"You find that funny do you?" Remus asked as his rump hit the floor and he tried to get up, only marginally more successfully than before in the cramped space. "Was that entirely necessary?"

Sirius was still having trouble breathing, "I...and you...hahaha...the look on your face as you flew in! The...The...The jig was up!" He continued laughing once he took a deep breath to prevent himself passing out.

Remus finally succeeded in righting himself and straightened his jacket, finding himself smiling despite all the worries on his mind. He pulled Sirius into a manly hug, "Thank you, I'm sure I did look quite the prat just then. I must say you are looking quite well for an outlaw."

Sirius smiled, "I try old man, you on the other hand look like boiled dog shite!"

Remus attempted once more to straighten his jacket, "I didn't have time to gather my belongings or change clothes before heading out of the country. You'll just have to forgive me for looking less than a hundred percent."

That sobered Sirius up some as he took a step back, "Yeah...bad business all around, and I'm sure it isn't about to get better with the rat dead."

The two of them were silent for a moment thinking of all that they'd lost in only a few days, finally Sirius broke the ice, "Well then, what say we head for my little slice of Paris and get you cleaned up?"

"Paris eh? You still had some contacts from your fifth and sixth years here?"

"Something like that yeah, now come along, grab my sleeve."

"Your going to side-along me? Last time I let you do that I was lucky you only splinched my shoe!"

"Oh come off it, I was 12!"

~~~==={{{+French+Twist+}}}===~~~

After apparating to the alleyway behind Monique's, Sirius lead him through the kitchen into the bar and toward the front door and the stairs. Remus tried not to stare at any of the girls, or the men they were entertaining, as they passed but he was getting more and more nervous as they headed up. At the second floor landing his suspicions were somewhat confirmed by a long low moan at the other end of the floor and at the top he felt the distinct feeling of an age line passing over him. Sirius led him to the end of the hall and opened the door to allow them entrance. On the couch was a woman in her mid twenties with brown hair and green eyes wearing medical scrubs. She looked up as they walked in and smiled at Sirius.

"So the mission was a success I see?"

Sirius nodded, "It was, thank you. I trust you had no problems?"

"Nope he was an angel, though he didn't stop asking about you. So this is the friend you spoke of?"

Sirius remembered his manners and pulled Remus into the room, "Remus Lupin this is Doctor Victoria Hensley, Victoria, Remus."

"A pleasure." Remus said nervously.

"The pleasure is mine I'm sure," She got up off the couch and adjusted her blouse, "Well I need to be getting back to my place. Tea later?"

"That sounds divine, thank you again."

She smiled at both of them as she pulled the door shut behind her and Remus arched an eyebrow in Sirius direction. "A doctor?"

"She works with children at a local hospital and she was available."

It suddenly caught up to him and his heart seemed to skip a beat, "You mean Harry IS with you?"

"MooMoo!" Screamed Harry as he toddled into the room carrying his stuffed wolf, "MooMoo!"

Remus found himself on his knees with two arms full of happy toddler, with tears running down his face. "Hey there cub!" He turned questioning eyes on Sirius.

"The rat was right about one thing, the nursery looked like Harry exploded but I found him with nothing worse than that scar over his eye."

Remus pulled Harry back and smiled as he pushed his hair to the side to look at the lightning bolt shaped scar, the toddler just smiled back at him, "What happened?"

Sirius shrugged as he sat down in the chair, "I can't be sure, but I'm guessing Dumbledore wasn't to far off. Lils..." He trailed off for a second and took a breath, the sadness being reflected in both their eyes, "Lils did something to protect him when Voldemort...when he..."

"I think I understand, Dumbledore said it was very old magic, that she likely sacrificed herself to protect him and when Voldemort tried to..." He trailed off as well, not wanting to dwell on what might have happened, "So Harry here somehow managed to kill the greatest Dark Lord in a century?"

"That's the long and short of it apparently, I took him with me...I don't know why I just couldn't leave him. I was all set to go after the rat when he called my name, next thing I knew we were here."

Remus turned back to Harry, "I'm very happy to see you cub," He smiled and got a smile in return, "you have no idea how happy I am."

"MooMoo!" Harry said and hit Remus upside the head with the stuffed toy.

Remus found himself laughing along with Harry and Sirius joined in, "Yes Harry, Moony is here now."

"MooMoo!"

"I am going to remember this in my speech when he's getting married. How Harry had me convinced you were a cow animagus!"

"Laugh it up Pafu! At least I'm not named after some silly sexual act."

"In a place like this that actually might not be a bad name..."

Remus sobered at that, "Yes Sirius, let us talk about how disturbing it is that you are hiding Harry out in a bordello of all places!"

"Hey, I didn't have a whole lot of choices, and if you noticed I already put up a nanny ward to keep him upstairs and away from all that. Besides it's just temporary I'm sure."

Remus stood up, taking Harry with him on his shoulder and walked over to the couch, sitting down and placing the toddler on his lap, "I assume there is a story behind this place?"

~~~==={{{+French+Twist+}}}===~~~

Monique had invited them to dinner in her quarters and they'd talked idly throughout until they finished with a dessert course. Now being satisfied and Harry playing quietly at the end of the table Monique looked to Sirius, "So there has been more news of you on the wireless," she turned to Remus who seemed to be pinned by her gaze for some reason, "and of you. It seems warrants have been issued for Sirius and a kill-on-sight order issued for Mister Lupin."

Victoria gasped, "Kill? How can they do that?"

Remus simply sighed and looked at her, "I'm afraid my...er...background means I have almost no rights, you could say they would put me down as a rabid animal."

"That's horrible! How can they do that to anyone! Are you a known criminal or something?"

Sirius looked to Monique with a questioning expression, "How much does she know?" He asked, indicating Victoria with a nod of his head.

Monique shrugged, "All of the girls know, I do believe the good doctor can be trusted to as well."

Sirius looked to Remus who shrugged his shoulders slightly, then turned to Victoria, "Doctor I'm about to tell you things that will be unbelievable and that must remain a complete secret."

"I thought I told you it's Victoria, and what secret can be so vital that you make it sound like life or death?"

Remus leaned forward, "You know that Harry's family was targeted by a mass murderer correct?" She nodded though she seemed slightly confused, "What you do not know is that Harry was actually the target, and that James and Lily were merely in the way."

Sirius picked up from there, "There are two worlds, there is your world, the normal world which we refer to as the Muggle world. Then there is the magical world."

"Magic? Like sleight of hand?"

Sirius shook his head and pulled his wand out, producing iridescent purple and gold butterflies and shimmering sparks. Victoria's breath caught in her throat as she gazed disbelievingly at the creatures fluttering around the room, Harry was laughing and trying to catch them. "Not stage magic," he continued, "REAL magic. There are witches and wizards living alongside Muggles in a world of our own, we have our own magical governments and there is a Statute of Secrecy that means we cannot let Muggles like yourself know we are here. I'm breaking many laws by telling you and demonstrating magic in front of you."

Remus nodded, "I have a magical affliction, I was bitten as a small boy and have lived most of my life as a werewolf."

She visibly leaned away from him at that, though apparently without thinking, "Wer-werewolf?"

Sirius picked up once again, "That is why he has no rights, in magical Britain werewolves are considered dark creatures and considered less than human. So while I am wanted for trial, he is quite literally in danger of being 'put down' as you might call it."

"I still don't understand, you say magic is real? And you two are..Wizards? What about Monique?"

The woman in question leaned forward, her bosom threatening to fall out of her blouse and Moony's eyes bugged just a bit. "I am what is called a Squib in our world, I was born to magical parents but have almost no magical ability at all. I might as well be a Muggle. This is why my family sold me to my old employer. To have a squib in the family is terribly embarrassing at best and to a well-known family, it is detrimental. I was raised in secret and when I was old enough they got what they could for me and wrote me off."

"I'm sorry but your magical world sounds barbaric!"

Remus nodded, "In some ways it is, in others...well we live rather peacefully with each other. There has not been a large scale magical war between nations in a millennium thanks to the Statute of Secrecy. Time was that magicals were both revered and hated by the Muggles. We were used to fight wars for a benefactor but when we seemed to be too powerful the people would turn on us. The burning of heretics and the Salem Witch Trials are only some of the atrocities committed against us. We pulled away as completely as we could and have hidden our world from yours ever since."

"And Harry?" She asked turning to the boy who had caught one of the butterflies and was examining it.

"Is the son of two very powerful magical people. James was a Pureblood wizard, his family has been entirely magical for as many generations as have been recorded. Lily was an extremely powerful Muggleborn witch."

"Muggleborn?"

"The daughter of two Muggles with no known magic in their family tree, born with the ability to use magic. There are many Purebloods who look down upon the Muggleborn and Halfbloods as something less pure, must the same way they consider Remus to be less than human. That is what the war in the UK was about." Sirius replied.

"Wait a war? I thought you said there hadn't been any magical wars for a thousand years?"

Remus sat back and sighed, "It wasn't so much a war as a terrorist organization targeting anyone who believed that Muggleborn deserved to have the same rights and opportunities as Purebloods. The powerful Purebloods, some of them, the so called 'Dark Families' joined Voldemort in trying to eliminate the impure in our society. The 'Light Families' fought back, but most of them were not willing to fight at all, and those that did, did not want to kill the terrorists. So for twenty years it has been a war of attrition, the magical population of the UK has been falling sharply as 'Dark Families' lose fathers and sons, the 'Light Families' have lost good men and women as well as entire families being eliminated for opposing Voldemort, and Muggleborn have been eliminated before they ever got to train in the magical arts or shortly after leaving school."

"In any case," Sirius said leaning forward, "Harry will most likely be a powerful wizard in his own right, he is considered a Halfblood having one Pureblood and one Muggleborn parent. There was a prophecy that said a certain person, born to certain people, would be the one to destroy Voldemort. Somehow he found out about the prophecy and it led him directly to Harry."

Remus smiled, "The bastard got what was coming to him though, somehow Harry destroyed that monster!"

"But James and Lils died in the process. I'm his Godfather, that's why he's with me...I found him after feeling the magical protections I'd help place on their house be destroyed. My family was one of the 'Dark Families' I was telling you about, though I assure you I do not hold with their ideals. That is why I was disowned and that is why I spent the last few years as all but a brother to James. When my own mother died I was not overly emotional, but it hurt deeply to see James' parents die in the war. The Potters are one of the pillars of the Light community and have been for centuries at least. Recognized by both the Magical Commonwealth and the English Crown as an Ancient and Noble house. Harry is all that's left of them. I knew if I stayed I'd likely not get much of a trial if any, and someone would try to use Harry to get at the Potters wealth or trade on his name to further the 'Greater Good'."

Remus looked at Sirius with stricken eyes having recognized that turn of phrase, "Now Sirius, surely you don't believe that Dumbledore of all people would have used Harry like that!"

"I don't know what to believe anymore Remus! We're both wanted for murder and the one man who should be on our side seems to have completely given over to mob mentality as far as I can tell. I wasn't going to take that chance!"

"Boys!" Monique cut across them sharply and nodded toward a stunned Victoria, "We have a guest who seems to be taking all of this rather badly."

Both had the good sense to look chagrined and apologized like children caught with their hand in the cookie jar. Victoria seemed to regain some of her senses and looked at Harry for a good while before speaking, "I suppose I shall just have to accept it at face value for the time being...you say Harry was exposed to high levels of lethal magic? I think I should take a look at him to be certain there is no lasting harm."

Monique smiled at her taking the revelation so well and turned to Sirius, "As for your legal problems, being in my line of business does have its rewards. Perhaps I can persuade some of my contacts to help smooth over your situation, and hide Harry's identity for the time being. As far as I am concerned you are welcome to stay here as long as is needed, indefinitely if you must. It is good to have you here Siri, and you as well Remus. I should think however, that you might want to speak to the Goblins about your funds before the government thinks to issue some sort of injunction no?"

Victoria's head swung around to stare at the three magicals, "Wait, Goblins?"

**Authors Note: Pafu-Pafu is a massage where you are slapped and rubbed about the face by a woman's breasts. I am not really certain how old the term is, but shows up in Dragonball and many other Japanese references. (I didn't know that until I was looking to see if Pafu might have a funny meaning for MooMoo to throw back in Sirius' face. If not I was going to go with a Hawaiian theme, MooMoo and Pafu hehehe)**


	5. Chapter 5

_**Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective**_

_**owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way**_

_**associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.**_

**French Twist: **

**5. Fade to Black**

The next morning Sirius and Remus left Harry in Monique's care and they made their way to Vertique Alley in downtown Paris to inquire as to the status of their accounts at the French branch of Gringotts.

The entrance to Vertique Alley was just off of Ru de Sevres in one of the hottest French shopping districts. They walked past several well known designer shops and away from the main area to what appeared to be a closed and boarded up restaurant until they got closer. The actual restaurant 'Crios Battons' or Crossed Wands was cloaked in an Muggle-repelling charm. They entered the establishment and followed the sign above a hallway straight through the front, past the loo and to the barrier where they found themselves at a loss.

After standing and staring at a blank wall for several minutes they were thankfully rescued by a man on his way to relieve himself, who showed them they needed to run a wand down the crease in the wallpaper. The walls seemed to slide open like an automatic double-door to reveal Vertique proper. They entered and were immediately impressed.

Vertique Alley appeared to have most of the same types of establishment as Diagon, but the architecture had apparently been updated with the times and on the whole, was not nearly as cramped as Diagon Alley. Overall the impression was much the same as their home magical district with people bustling back and forth to the shops and mostly ignoring anyone they didn't have to talk to. There were a few carts stationed around with treats and finger foods as well as trinkets, and shining like a beacon in the sunlight was the unmistakable white marble of a main Gringotts branch.

They quickly made their way to the bank and past the security Goblins and joined the nearest queue to speak with a teller. The goblin behind the desk looked strangely familiar, but then, all goblins looked the same to most humans. He looked up with the typical scowl on his face, "May I help you?"

Sirius grinned charmingly which was completely lost on the goblin, "Sirius Black wishes to make inquiry as to the status of his accounts."

The goblin raised an eyebrow at the name, "Black eh? Key please?" Sirius handed over his vault key and the goblin wrote something down in his ledger. "How may I help you Mr. Black?"

"I have recently found myself somewhat of an outlaw in Britain and would like to inquire as to the status of my accounts. Is there an account manager I can speak with?"

The goblin wrote something else down in his ledger and waved over a lesser goblin, "Tripwire will show you the way. NEXT!"

"This way please." Tripwire said motioning them to follow.

They followed the little fellow past several more queues and down a hallway to a large door which yet another security goblin pulled open for them to pass. They were then led through a myriad of corridors to an imposing wood door covered in gold filigree. "Wait here please." The goblin said before knocking three times and entering at a word from inside. A few moments later the door was opened wide and they were motioned in, Tripwire leaving and closing the door behind him.

"Count Black, how may Gringotts help you today?"

"As I'm sure you are aware, I have recently been named an outlaw in the UK and I wanted to see what affect that has on my ability to draw on my accounts."

The goblin pulled yet another ledger from a stack on his desk and flipped through a few pages, then rifled through his 'In' box until he found a particular parchment. "Ah yes, Sirius Black. A warrant has been issued for your arrest in the UK, luckily the French government has not yet been asked to detain or extradite you. As it currently stands Gringotts feels no need to freeze your accounts."

"Thank goodness." Sirius said quietly.

"However," the goblin continued, "were such a request made it is possible a freeze request may be issued to this bank. Until a conviction is delivered however we are under no obligation to consider the request, and even if the order were given, under current treaty we reserve the right to deny the request when it is in regard to a major account holder. As you are currently the only named heir to the Black fortune you are considered such."

Remus spoke up at this, "I'm sorry, did you say the only heir?" He turned to Sirius, "I thought you were disowned?"

The goblin looked through his ledger once more, "It appears that no official notice of disinheritance was received before the death of your mother Mr. Black. Therefore according to international law and Gringotts custom you are still the heir."

Sirius whistled through his teeth, "Guess the old bat was too far gone to realize that burning my name off the tapestry was not the end of things."

The goblin simply stared at them, making them feel self-conscious and Sirius cleared his throat, "Very well, um..in the event that a freeze order were issued would it be possible to set up other arrangements to ensure I still have access?"

The goblin, Smashfoot according to the name on his desk, thought for a moment, "Indeed, were we to set up a shell company in your name we could funnel the money to you as 'investment', or more simply we will issue you a line of credit in the amount of your total value. Upon your death the borrowed amount would be taken from your vault along with a ten percent fee, and the rest turned over to a designated heir. I would suggest the second option, if I may."

"No, the second option sounds perfect. I assume you still have the bottomless moneybags?"

Smashfoot smiled disconcertingly, "Indeed, for a nominal fee each month we will supply you with such. For an added fee you can get Muggle currencies as well. Shall I draw up the paperwork?"

"Please do."

He opened a drawer and pulled out another parchment and began writing, leaving Sirius and Remus standing awkwardly in front of him for several minutes. "All that is needed now is a drop of your blood to seal the contract," he drew a wicked looking dagger from his belt, "if you would please?"

Sirius pricked his finger on the tip and allowed a drop of blood to drip onto the bottom of the contract which then rolled itself up and vanished. "Very good, if that will be all?"

Remus cleared his throat, "Actually," both Sirius and the goblin turned to look at him. "I'd like to inquire as to whether the Potter will has been executed?"

"And you are?"

"Remus Lupin...er I don't actually have the authority to ask that question..."

Sirius spoke up, "But I do, as Godfather of Harry James Potter."

Smashfoot wrote something down quickly and waved his hand over the parchment which folded itself into the shape of a bird and flew out of a slot over the door. "This will only take a moment."

It took several moments actually in which both humans attempted unsuccessfully not to twitch nervously, finally a scroll appeared in the air above the 'In' box and dropped into Smashfoot's waiting hand. He quickly unrolled it and read it aloud.

"I James Potter, being of my own mind put forth this last will and testament recorded on this day the first of September 1981." He looked up from the parchment and squinted at Sirius, would you like me to read all of the legalese or skip ahead to the pertinent part?"

"Er..the pertinent parts only will be sufficient."

Smashfoot nodded and continued after a moment of skimming, "All monies and properties are to pass to Lily Rose Potter ne Evans upon my death. Should she be unavailable all monies, properties and titles are hereby bequeathed to my son, Harry James Potter. Blah blah blah...Harry James Potter is to be cared for by Godfather Sirius Orion Black, if unavailable Remus James Lupin, if unavailable Minerva McGonagall, etc etc etc. As you are here I do not see the need to continue reading further. You are also listed as the executor of the will Mr. Black. Therefore I am considering this will to have been executed in accordance with the wishes of James Potter. That is assuming of course that you do indeed have custody of Harry James Potter?"

"He is in my custody yes."

"Very well, will there be anything else?"

Sirius cleared his throat, "Harry Potter is presumed dead in the UK and I have no doubt someone my try to claim the Potter fortune for themselves. I obviously have no need to access these funds so I would ask that the accounts be placed in trust for Harry Potter to be received upon his seventeenth birthday."

Smashfoot made another quick note and sent the paper-bird off, apparently to be filed somewhere. "There is the matter of a trust fund set up for use by Harry Potter, I assume you would like these monies to remain available to him?"

"That seems fine."

"Very well, our business is concluded unless you have yet another request?"

Both men shook their heads and Smashfoot nodded, "You can see yourselves out then, time is money after all. Tripwire is waiting to show you out and they have your moneybag waiting at the teller."

~~~==={{{+French+Twist+}}}===~~~

"That was particularly disturbing for some reason." Remus said as the two made their way out of the bank. A large circle was laid into the tile in the square outside to designate the apparation point.

"You haven't had to deal with an account manager very often, I assure you that was actually rather pleasant in comparison to some that I've dealt with back in London. You know where you're going this time right? Or would you like me to side-along you once more?"

"No no, I know where we are going this time, I'd rather not chance my shoes again."

"Oh come off it already, besides I'd buy you new shoes if that happened again. Actually you could probably use some new shoes anyway. Feel like shopping?"

"Not just at the moment no, and I don't feel like accepting your charity in any case."

The two disapparated and reappeared behind Monique's, and after a moment of the usual disorientation headed for the door. "I've told you Moony, you are as good as blood to me and I don't consider it charity. Besides, in our current situation you don't really have much choice. You know I'm good for it and I like knowing that mother is rolling over in her grave every time I spend family money on a 'Dark Creature'." He said with a smile.

The house was quiet at this time of day and most of the girls were off shopping or visiting family. Monique's was not your typical bordello and her employees were not typical whores. She had learned hard lessons while working at her former employer and after saving girls like her from a similar fate she had vowed that any place she ran would be high class and her girls would not be mistreated or underfunded. So it was that the girls at Madam Monique's were much closer to highly paid escorts than common sex workers. The clientele ran mostly from upper middle-class to rich with a large smattering of both Muggle and Magical government officials. Once Remus had learned this fact he felt just a bit better about leaving Harry in the care of the proprietor, and living in the house in general with Harry.

As they approached the door to Sirius' flat, Monique called to them from the other end of the hallway and beckoned them that way. The two exchanged curious glances before Sirius shrugged and turned that direction with Remus in tow. Upon entering her place they found a nervous looking man sitting on her couch with a brief case on the table in front of him. He stood as they entered.

"Good afternoon gentleman, my name is Reginald Swifter."

Monique smiled at the confused pair, "Reggie is a dear friend and long time customer, he is here to speak to you about your unfortunate circumstances."

The man pushed up his glasses and nodded, "Monique was rather persuasive in her argument that I should meet you. As I understand it you are both refugees from the magical commonwealth of Britain?"

Sirius took a seat and Remus stood behind him, "That would be correct, I'm not sure what the French government can do for us though."

"Ah yes...well, I have brought paperwork that will establish French citizenship for the three of you. Provided you give testimony under Veritiserum that you are not guilty of the crimes charged against you?"

Both Englishmen were somewhat stunned but quickly agreed. After being administered the three drops they took turns answering questions about the nature of their flight from justice. Being satisfied the man put the vial away in his briefcase and pulled out the paperwork. "Everything seems in order, of course we may have you come in for further questioning to make your status permanent. Now as to your new identities..."

"Wait, new identities?" Remus asked.

"Well you see, it was Monique's idea that perhaps living under assumed identities would prevent any...covert attempts to extradite you, no?"

Sirius nodded, "I understand and I agree, I don't know who to trust at the moment and this seems a simple way to fly under-the-radar so to speak."

The man seemed confused by the Muggle term but quickly brushed it aside, "In any case, do you have any preference in your new names?"

Sirius thought for a while and looked over his shoulder at Moony, "I think perhaps Remy would be an acceptable substitute don't you Moony?"

The man blushed slightly, "I suppose that will do, though nobody has called me that in several years."

"And a last name?" The man asked.

"Wolfe with an E perhaps?" Remus suggested. "Lupin coincidentally comes from the word Lupine, or wolf like, or the French Lupe."

The man began writing with a biro then looked up at Remus, "And I have been told you are werewolf correct? I must make a note if this is the case."

Moony moved to the couch and sat down with a sigh, "Of course you must, indeed I am a werewolf. I suppose there are several laws that apply to my status as a Dark Creature?"

The man narrowed his eyes, "Dark Creature? What is this nonsense? You are afflicted with a disease that only affects you a few days of the month correct?" Remus nodded in confusion, "In France we do not hold with such nonsense, there is only a required support group that you will attend during the week surrounding your transformation. The government supplies the facilities for your change to prevent any possible harm to the public and if you cannot afford it, a charity will supply any potions to help with the change, but we do not interfere any further into your life."

Remus could only nod in stunned silence as the man finished writing the information down, he then turned to Sirius. "And you Count Black?"

"Why does everyone insist on using that title?" He sighed, "Well I was thinking of just shortening my name as well, Siri Noir perhaps?"

Monique smiled, "Yes, noir is French for Black, very clever Siri!"

He blushed under her praise but remained looking at the man who was busy writing, "Very well Mr. Noir. The paperwork all seems to be in order and will be filed once I return to the office. Now as to the status of one Harry James Potter, you are his legal guardian, yes?"

Sirius sat forward, "I am."

The man nodded and pulled out another form, "I am thinking, and forgive me if I am being forward, but rather than creating a false identity out of whole cloth, perhaps you would think about adopting the tot? In which case his French identity will become Harry Noir."

Sirius thought about that one for a few minutes and turned to Remy, "Moony I don't know what to do here...James and Lily..."

Remus spoke softly, "I think they would be overjoyed to have you raise Harry as your son, as long as he is happy and loved I doubt they would care much what his last name is. And should he ever return to the UK he can always claim his real name along with his inheritance and titles." He turned to Swift, "Isn't that correct?"

The man looked somewhat nervous but nodded, "Indeed we will not alter his original identity, should he wish he will be able to reclaim his former name in the country of his origin."

Sirius sighed and went silent again for a moment, thinking the decision over carefully, "I think if I am adopting him we should still change his first name...Henri..Henri James Noir."

Remus was grinning and Monique looked as though she might be tearing up, Swift simply nodded and made note of the name on another parchment. "Very well Mr. Noir, may I be the first to welcome you and your son, as well as your associate Mr. Wolfe to France. Now there is one other particularity which must be addressed. As you are only provisional citizens under less than optimal circumstances, I am afraid I must insist on one stipulation for the time being."

Sirius narrowed his eyes but continued listening as the man continued, "As political refugees I must ask that you have a sponsor. Miss Montague here has agreed to serve in this capacity."

Remus raised an eyebrow, "Miss Montague?"

"That would be me, Remy." Monique said with a smile.

"Oh, of course, how silly of me."

Swift nodded as he was putting the paperwork back into his briefcase, "We ask that you remain in residence with Miss Montague for a period of two years until your provisional status becomes permanent."

Remus eyes widened and Sirius sat back with a groan, "So much for moving out."

Monique smiled sweetly, "I have told you Siri, you and your family are welcome to stay here as long as is needed."


	6. Chapter 6

******Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters, plot and interactions are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.**

**French Twist: **

**6. Fixxxer**

Over the next several months there was a continuous argument just below the surface between Sirius and Remus about their requirement to continue living with Monique. While the girls were all rather high-class considering where they came from, they were still escorts and Remus could not imagine Lily being happy with "Henri" growing up in a bordello. However when pressed for a better solution all Remus could come up with was moving to yet another country and finding a more respectable place to live. The problem with that though was the warrants issued by Britain being executed in every other country that belonged to the International Confederation of Wizards without question. Only France refused to comply leading to much speculation that this must be where the fugitives were hiding out. France made it clear however that any attempt at subterfuge and extradition would result in an international incident.

During this time the working girls had finally worked up the nerve to knock on Sirius' door and introduce themselves in ones and twos. A total of 10 working girls lived on the top floor with them along with two younger girls who had been rescued from other houses at despicably young ages. Angelique lived with her older sister Jenna at the other end of the hall, she was only ten when her and her sister had been removed to Monique's and was just about to turn twelve. Sarah was fifteen now and had been living in the house with her room mate Destiny for three years. Both girls were strictly forbidden from considering "escort" as a career path and attended a local private school; and both girls made for excellent babysitters, most often in tandem.

It was one of these nights of babysitting when Siri and Remy had been out drinking at the pub two blocks away, and were stumbling their way home. As usual Sirius had ended up with a girl on either side and Remus had entertained the less attractive yet utterly boring best friend; ever the best wing-man a bloke could ask for. Needless to say Remy was not in a good mood, and when Remy was not in a good mood, the smoldering argument grew to a small flame.

They had just turned the corner onto their street when he could no longer contain himself, "What are we doing Padfoot? How can you justify raising Harry in a whore house of all places?"

Sirius squinted sideways at his oldest friend, "How many times do I have to tell you not to call it that?"

Remus raised a finger and pointed down the road, "Say what you want to glamorize the place, but it boils down to women selling sex! Lily would tear you up one side and down the other before she pulled her wand and did something indescribable to you!"

"We've been over this you old wolf! We don't have much of a choice! Do you really want Harry in Dumbledore's clutches?"

Remus was getting his goat up at this point and as usual, came to the old man's defense, "Dumbledore is a great man! He saved me from a life not much better than any of the girls at home!"

Sirius smiled a gotcha-grin, "You called it home," he chuckled, "Besides, whatever he did for you in the past doesn't excuse basically trying us in abstentia and letting you hang out to dry! Shouldn't someone as wise as you make him out to be, know you better than that? And what about me?"

"He doesn't have all the facts is all..."

"And you've written him multiple times to explain yourself, and yet, no stay of execution order is there? 'Sides we've got a great little place here, and the women are both beautiful and willing!"

"And they are prostitutes!"

"'s'not there fault! Besides, they're respectable prostitutes."

Remus shook his head, "Do you even hear what you're saying Siri? Respectable? They sell their bodies for money!"

"Better not let Monique hear you talking about her like that." Sirius said with a grin.

The other man's eyes widened a bit before he began stumbling over his words, "It's...it's not like that at all! I don't know what your fascination with my love life is, Monique and I are just friends and besides, she doesn't do that anymore."

"Right," Sirius said, drawing out the word sarcastically, "She just used to do it and now she runs the place where the other girls do it you hypocrite. Why shouldn't consenting adults come to some agreement where money is exchanged for services? How is it any less respectable to sell your body for sex than to sell your body for manual labor in construction? You're a prude Remy! Admit it!"

Remus went quiet for a moment looking for a new argument since this one had been played out several times already and he never seemed to gain an edge. "Fine, then look at the neighborhood! Harry can't even go outside to play, there is no lawn, there's not a park I'd trust him to play in."

"There is a park across the street for crying out loud, and he's only two, it's not like he's going out to play on his own any time soon."

"That park is a den of thievery and drug use, the play equipment is easily twenty years old and the people who frequent the area belong in Knockturn Alley. And look at the buildings around us!" He said, stopping to point to the nearest one to them, "This place is falling apart! I'd not be surprised if the whole street were condemned!"

Sirius turned to look at the building then at Remus, "Monique's is respectable though, and it's up to code I'll have you know. I wasn't going to leave her living in squalor like some squatter!"

He left their residence alone, having to conceded that on the inside Monique's was actually rather nice, and its outsides were several levels above its surroundings. "Fine, but what about this place? The shutters are all hanging off, it hasn't been painted in a decade and you can see urine stains on the corners from the dogs and drunks wandering the neighborhood!"

Sirius, as stated, was rather drunk himself and not in a position to make good decisions. Thus it was that in a fit of obstinacy he pulled his wand and pointed at the building in question. "You hate it so much lets just fix it up shall we? 'Reparo!'"

He put a good bit of drunk-strength behind the spell and fell on his arse as it left him physically weakened. Remus, who was less inebriated was suddenly found wide eyed and looking around in a panic to make sure none of the Muggles in the area had witnessed the rather astounding magical feat. "Have you gone mental? You can't just go around doing that in..." he wanted to say broad daylight but after a quick look had to change his description, "well, you can't just do that in dim streetlight! I doubt our somewhat dubious status as French citizens would protect us from breaking the Statute of Secrecy!"

As Sirius stumbled his way back into a standing position with a bit of help he was building up a good head of steam to continue arguing, until he caught site of what he had done and was left speechless. The building appeared to have been freshly white washed, the windows were all clean and the shutters hung perfectly with new coats of green paint. The broken concrete steps looked brand new and even the weeds had been removed in the flowerbeds out front and in the window boxes. "Oh bugger."

Remus could only nod at his friends stunned exclamation and the two stared at the building which looked brand new. Finally he was able to speak, "Undo it! We can't leave it like this!"

Sirius nodded, but he was still weak from casting the spell in the first place. He pointed his wand and tried to undo is handiwork but only succeeded in darkening a man sized portion of the wall, more of a smudge than a return to it's previous dilapidated appearance. He looked to Remus with apologetic and questioning eyes.

"Together then?" Remus asked, pulling his own wand out and pointing it.

Siri nodded and the two attempted to undo the spell in tandem, darkening the facade to a less than new appearance but not undoing any of the repairs, and now Remus too was feeling drained. "Well you've buggered this one up rather handily." The wolf stated flatly.

Sirius stared at his handiwork for a moment before walking up to the front door and picking up a newspaper. He transfigured it into a piece of paper then pulled a Biro from his jacket and began scribbling something down and tucking it into the door frame.

"Congratulations on being the first recipient of the Neighborhood Beautification Project." Remus read out loud and then looked at Sirius for explanation.

"Well we had to say something after all..."

"And what happens when none of the other buildings get a makeover? It will only cause jealousy and tension to the rest of the street!"

Sirius pondered for a moment before a grin stole onto his face, "Come on! We need to talk to Monique!"

As his friend began a half-stumble half-run toward home Remus called out to him, "What on earth are you on about now?"

~~~==={{{+French+Twist+}}}===~~~

"So that is the short of it." Sirius finished explaining to Monique.

They had snagged her downstairs when they got home and were now sitting in her study on the couches around the fireplace. She sat back and looked at them for a long moment, "And so you are expecting me to do what?"

Sirius grinned at her, "Well you can't argue that the neighborhood could use some sprucing up, and I believe that raising the standard of living a bit would drive out a lot of the less desirable inhabitants of the area which can only be a plus for your business."

"Continue." She said questioningly.

"Well you see...we couldn't undo what I did back there, but the reason I did it was to prove to Mooney here that this is an acceptable place to raise Harry. I'd like to ask the girls to start a Neighborhood Beautification campaign. Maybe every couple of weeks or months we go out and redo another building, definitely fix up the park, make this place liveable again. I'll provide the funds for materials of course, and possibly lend a magical hand here and there to keep it from being strenuous work."

She seemed to ponder the idea for some time before coming to a decision. "I am sure the girls will love the idea. Personally I have wanted to do something for public relations as well, while being completely ignored is preferable to being investigated, the girls have told me before how awful it is to be unseen by so many pairs of eyes. I think they will like this chance to be seen as members of the neighborhood rather than its dirty little secret."

Sirius pumped his fist in the air, silently cheering until she coughed into her hand, "Now you just get to convince them."

Remus grinned at him, "That should be no problem eh Padfoot?"

~~~==={{{+French+Twist+}}}===~~~

Sirius set about purchasing or transfiguring scaffolding and other tools that would be needed and stored them neatly in the alley behind the building. That way if anyone looked they would easily find a source for the Neighborhood Beautification Project. He then set about deciding on their next target; as it had been three doors down that he'd so thoroughly screwed the pooch, so to speak, he decided that three doors down the other way was as logical an option as any.

Remus then suggested, that quite possibly it would be better to ask permission from the owner of said buildings before setting about updating the exterior willy-nilly. Sirius was of course of the mind that no owner should object to free labor, and besides it was easier to ask forgiveness than permission. In the though end Remus won the day and Sirius began trying to find out who owned the blasted buildings anyway.

Knocking on the front door didn't do much for getting anyone's attention inside, and after easily getting inside with an unlocking charm, there was no indication of who the owner was in the small lobby at the foot of the stairs and no superintendent marked on the doors on the ground floor. So Sirius went door to door asking if anyone knew who owned the place or who the superintendent was. Nobody was willing to talk about it, or if they were, were not inclined to speak with Him about it at any rate.

Thus a rather frustrated Sirius apparated to Vertique Alley early on a Friday morning to see if the Goblins might be a bit more help than the Muggles. After an uncomfortable conversation with a teller which led to an even more uncomfortable conversation with a property manager he was told simply, "We'll be in touch if we find anything Mr. Noir." Apparently his new legal status in France had been obtained by the Goblins, luckily however, he was not refused access to his accounts.

Upon returning to Monique's he passed through the parlor and back out front to continue his search for an owner that would let him put his plan into action. He figured if he couldn't find anyone at this point they could start on the park instead. As he turned right he spotted a portly figure getting out of his car and striding purposely toward him.

"You are Mr. Noir?"

Sirius nodded and put on his best smile, "I am, how can I help you?"

"You! You and this beautification committee have made life a pain for me sir! How dare you take it upon yourself to clean and refurbish my building!"

Taken aback but still curious Sirius raised an eyebrow, "I assure you I..that is We meant no harm..."

"Do you know I have received seven telephone calls in the last day? The residents now expect me to make the insides of the building look like the outsides! Some are threatening not to pay rent if I do not do so. I am holding you to blame for this!"

"I don't see how..."

"Now you listen to me, you are going to reimburse me for these repairs and upgrades or you will reimburse me for rent I am owed! This is outrageous!"

An odd idea struck Sirius then, "Tell me mister...?"

"Jarvais."

"Mr. Jarvais, would you be interested in selling this building to me instead? Do you perhaps own any other properties on this street as well?"

The man was taken aback for only a second before he turned beet red, "Now see here Noir, I am not in the market to sell, and even if I were I doubt you would have the capital to meet my price!"

Sirius pulled out his money bag, "What say you to...oh...50,000 francs as a down payment? Surely that is enough to get your solicitor involved?"

The mans eye's seemed to cross for a moment, "Do not mess with me sir! I told you I am not in the market..."

Sirius nodded, "65,000 then?" And he reached into the money bag and began pulling out stacks of 5,000 and handing them to the man who looked as though he might faint at the sight of so much cash. "Now, I'd suggest you take that to the bank and then contact your solicitor who can leave a message for me at Monique's, you know which building that is I take it?"

"M- Monique's you say? I..I don't know about selling to someone who associates with that lot..."

Sirius pulled out an additional 10,000 and handed it to the man, "I think you can see that I do not have a problem with capital, and surely, you would rather leave all the complaints and repairs to someone else?"

The man stumbled over himself trying to hold all the bills before he made a snap decision and turned back to his car, "My solicitor will be in contact, have a wonderful day Mr. Noir! A pleasure doing business with you!"

Sirius called out to the mans back, "And please include a list of any other property owners you know in the area?"

**A/N: If you noticed, I changed the name in this chapter, and the last chapter to Henri rather than Harold, as I was accused of such awful things for using that name "What are you American? It should be Henry!"**

**Short, but hopefully fun. There are likely going to be a series of short, fun, glimpses of life in the neighborhood to build up Harry's past. I don't plan to spend a whole lot of time on his growing up unless it applies to the story. Soon he'll be all grown up and going off to school at... ope! You almost got me.**

**Spoilers Doctor...Spoilers :)**


	7. Chapter 7

******Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters, plot and interactions are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.**

**French Twist: **

**7. Welcome Home (Sanitarium)**

Remus knocked on the open door to Sarah's flat before sticking his head inside, "Hello? Sarah?"

She walked out of the bedroom wearing only a jogging bra and shorts and Remus felt his heart rise into his throat as she smiled at him. For the past two years every woman in the building had taken to seeing who could get the best reaction out of Remy. At first it had been fun but eventually they all settled into more of a routine. Remus learning to control his reactions somewhat had led to the drop-off in over the top attempts but on the inside he still cringed. Especially in Sarah's case, she'd been fifteen when he met her and had greatly enjoyed joining in on the game with her former room mate, whether she was allowed to work or not.

At least she was seventeen now, or so he told himself, and he felt much less the pervert for seeing her in such a state of undress. She pulled him from his thoughts, "What brings you by Remy?"

He ventured further into the room and leaned casually against the door frame, "Oh, I just got off my shift at the pub. Sirius is still there working his tail off trying to make it the premier English Pub in Paris. I keep telling him it's a lost cause but at least it is breaking even now, we might even turn a profit next quarter... So I figured since I was home I'd go ahead and take Harry back to our place." He looked around a bit, "So um, where is the little monster anyway?"

Sarah smiled and for some reason that made him nervous, "Oh Angelique is bathing him, I don't hear the water running so they should be out soon."

The door to the bathroom opened and Harry came running out with a towel tied around his neck like a cape and not a stitch of clothing. Upon spotting his Uncle Mooney he tore across the living room and into the mans arms. "Uncle Mooney!"

Remus grinned, "Hey there cub, you have fun with Sarah and Angelique?"

He nodded enthusiastically, "Angel took me for a bath 'cause she said I was sticky."

The bathroom door opened again and Angelique stepped into the room, toweling her hair and in the exact same state of dress as Harry. Her nude fifteen year old body put his mental image of the twelve year old he'd met when they moved in permanently into the "long term memory" section of his brain, replacing it with mental scarring enough to make him think he was a pedophile.

He quickly turned around, covering Harry's eyes as he did so, "Angel-" he cleared his throat, as that had come out as a squeak, "Angelique! Would you please put some clothing on?"

Angel grinned at Sarah conspiratorially behind his back, "But why Remy? It isn't like every woman in this place doesn't go door-to-door in not much more than this all the time."

Harry was squirming to get away from the hand over his eyes and laughing at the game, "That may be, but you are underage and you are not...well that is I mean..."

She rolled her eyes at him as she wrapped the towel around herself and secured it before walking into the bedroom to find some clothes. Leaving the door open so she could hear him, and conveniently forgetting the full length mirror on it. "Harry needed a bath, so did I so we took one together, isn't that right Harry?"

Harry nodded and finally got Remus' hand off as the man turned around cautiously, catching sight of the girl in the mirror and quickly looking anywhere but that direction.

"I thought we'd spoken about that as well, you are not...that is you are a bit too mature to be bathing with him any longer don't you think?"

She finished putting on her pajamas, a silk camisole and cotton pants, and reentered the room. "Oh please Remy, it's not like anyone will remember being four...well except for me but I have an amazing memory."

"Yes...well..." He relaxed noticeably now that she was dressed, "Still...you should comport yourself with somewhat more dignity. I understand the effect a place like this could have on you, but you only have a few years until you will be moving out into the rest of the world and I can tell you they do not look too favorably upon young women who act in such a manner."

The girl smiled and walked over to him before kissing him on the cheek quickly, "Don't ever change Remy." She turned her attention to the struggling four-year-old, "Why don't we go get you dressed?"

Harry nodded and climbed down with assistance, taking her hand and going back toward her room leaving Remus and Sarah alone once more.

"Ever the gentleman hmm?" She asked.

"Indeed, I'll leave the catting around to Siri thank you very much. As for your attire..." He began.

She laughed, "Please Remy, this is considered almost frumpy at the gymnasium I go to, why don't you worry about you and I'll worry about me hmm?"

"Yes well..." He searched his brain for a change of subject, "I hear you have gotten enough scholarships to attend oxford next year?"

She grinned as she plopped down on the couch, "Yes, I was a bit worried about making up the difference between my academic scholarship and the tuition, but apparently someone applied for a grant from the Midnight Foundation for me. I wonder who that could be?"

Remus grinned, knowing that the Midnight Foundation was just a front for some of Sirius various projects. He knew that Sarah would have figured that out as well and played along, "Yes well apparently the chairman of the Scholarship Committee took a liking to you for some reason."

She nodded and winked at him, "I won't tell if you wont."

Remus nodded, "So that means you will be leaving in only a few short months then?"

"I do not know, I may stay the summer but I have a few friends who want to move early to get to know the place before classes start."

"Well we will miss you whenever you decide to leave, but don't let that stop you."

Angel and Harry walked back into the room, Harry dressed in his own cotton pajamas with snitches patterned on the fabric. Rather than zooming around as you watched, they had the curious effect of only moving when nobody was looking at them, leading to lots of corner-of-your-eye head turns only to find them stationary. Remus stood and picked Harry up who was already beginning to look tired.

"Say goodnight to the girls Harry." He waved cutely even as he rubbed his other eye with a fist. "We'll see you girls tomorrow I'm sure."

"Goodnight Remy, goodnight Harry" The girls chorused and the boy smiled over Mooney's shoulder as they walked into the hall and toward their room.

~~~==={{{+French+Twist+}}}===~~~

"Siri's turn to take the night shift again?" Victoria asked with a smile from her doorway.

"Yes, to tell you the truth I didn't think he'd actually buy the Pub too, but I guess he wanted the whole neighborhood."

"It is really quite amazing what the two of you have done for this whole area. Siri is the best landlord anyone could ask for, surprising considering how childish he acts at times."

Remus smiled at the look on the womans face, he'd suspected or over a year now that she and Siri were either together and hiding it pretty well or close to becoming an item. His keen nose couldn't pick the scent of each of them off of the other so he was leaning toward almost-an-item. Meanwhile he and Monique had a...unique relationship. It had really come as a surprise to him considering his moral objections to the line of work she was in, but she'd won him over somehow. He enjoyed their time together, but neither of them pressed the issue of just what it was they were to each other, for different reasons.

Harry beat on his uncle moony to let him down, who allowed him to run into the apartment leaving the door open.

"Well, the 'Wolf and Hound' is doing marvelously, much thanks to the upgrade in residents in the area. The seedier elements seemed to wash away along with the scourgify on the buildings and the park. I have to admit, when we started this adventure I expected it to end up much differently. I'm rather proud of what Siri has accomplished."

Victoria nodded, "Not only has he cleaned up the neighborhood, but did you hear that when his French Citizenship becomes official there are those who want to bring him in to the ministry. He has becoe a very influential land owner, not to mention having the ear of the magical worlds dirty little secret."

Remy grinned at her, "I had not heard quite that much info all together, but the general idea has been floated. I swear that man can make money out of nothing, and then get people to praise him for it. It's like one huge prank on the magical government of France. But I know he actually put in the capital and the work to get to where he is now, it's a bit awe inspiring."

She grinned, "It is isn't it?"

Remy grinned back, "And just what are you still doing in this place? I know you were traveling when we met you and this was more of a hostel than a home."

Any other woman would probably have blushed, but Victoria was very proper and had very good control of her body's reactions. All she allowed was a small smile, "Perhaps I just enjoy the atmosphere?"

"I'd say you enjoy the company." He answered her, detecting as light tint to her cheeks.

She sobered a bit, "Are you two really moving out soon?"

He nodded slowly, "The flat above the pub is all ready for us, three bedrooms instead of 2 that way Harry gets his own, and we get out of Monique's hair finally. It'll be a nice change of pace." He realized what she wasn't asking when the look on her face froze, "Don't worry Victoria, I know we will still be over here all the time. Where else are we going to get free babysitters?"

She smiled at that, "Indeed, I hadn't thought of that."

**A/N: I KNOW! Okay? I know its really too short...but this is the last chapter I had precanned, and I kind of pulled that last section out of nowhere...**

**The time skipping is throwing me off I think, but there is no way I'm writing one day at a time for Harry's entire childhood. **

**Hopefully, the next chapter will go well...I think in it Harry will be 9, and then after that off to school... I just need to find him some kids his own age to play with ponder I wonder who in all of France, Harry might hang out with. Especially with an adoptive father who is active in ministry politics. hmmmm**


End file.
